Lessons Learned

I can't believe that freshman year is almost over. Time is a funny thing...high school seems like so long ago, but at the same time I feel like the past 8 months have flown by. I can't (and don't want to) imagine not being at Wake Forest. I can't even begin to imagine how different my life would have been if I had chosen a different path, if I hadn't met the friends I've made here...which brings me to my point: During my brief time here at Wake, I have learned that God puts us exactly where we are supposed to be at exactly the right time. So often we are unaware of this, or we try to tell God that He made a mistake (I frequently find myself asking, "Why do You have me here, God? What am I doing with my life? What is my purpose?") And God, being the loving Father that He is, patiently reminds me, My child, you are here for a specific purpose. Even if you can't see what that purpose is at this moment in time, trust in Me. Take comfort in the knowledge that you are Mine, and you are loved. 

So many times over the course of these past 8 months, I have questioned, doubted, and feared. And every time, I have been reminded of God's Love, Patience, and Goodness. In everything, He is sovereign. I am reminded of Isaiah 55:8, when God says, For My Thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My Ways. When I read this verse, I rejoice because I realize that if God had the same thoughts and plans that I do, I would be in serious trouble. I find peace in knowing that God is in control. He knows exactly what my future holds--more importantly, He holds my future in His Hands. 

Although I still don't know what I want to major in or what exactly I want to do for a living, I have learned that it doesn't matter. And when I say "it doesn't matter," I am not at all saying that the choices I make don't have a purpose. What I am saying is that in the grand scheme of things, my major and career are insignificant--what gives them importance is how I use them (actually, how I am used to glorify God). Whenever I stress out about my uncertain future, it helps to put things into perspective: 

1. I am here now. And wherever here is, I need to accept it, embrace it, and just be. (Easier said than done, but so worth it). 

2. My true purpose in life is to glorify God. Regardless of my circumstances, major, or career, I was made to love and serve Him.

3. God is in control. One of my favorite chapters of the Bible is Psalm 139, which serves as such an important reminder: 

You have searched me, O Lord, and You know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; You perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; You are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue, O Lord, You know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, You have laid your hand upon me.

When I look back over my freshman year, I can clearly see how God has been with me every step of the way, through the good as well as the bad. The other day, I was going for a run/walk...a wun or a ralk, if you will. It's become one of my hobbies. Sure, running is better cardio, but walking allows me to actually enjoy my surroundings without struggling to breathe. Therefore, I wun. Or ralk. It's the best of both worlds, really (queue Hannah Montana theme song). Anyhow, I was just spending some quality me time in nature, and I was suddenly, overwhelmingly overcome with peace. In that instant, I knew that I was meant to be at Wake. Furthermore, I was meant to be outside, walk/running through Reynolda Village at that given moment in time. I don't know if I have ever felt more sure that I was exactly where I was supposed to be. And it was at that point that I wondered to myself: Is this what it's like to feel completely in sync with God? To feel at peace for some unexplainable yet abundantly clear reason? To feel both confident and uncertain at the same time, yet completely okay with it? 

I know, it doesn't seem to make much sense, but that's just how God is. He works in ways that we don't always understand, but we must find peace in the realization that He is ultimately in control, and everything will ultimately work together for good.